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Kareen's Yoga by Kareen Zebroff
I am a mother, my mother is a mother, and two of my three daughters
are mothers. All have done yoga for many years of their lives. What
must it be like to be a first-time mother, if you have not had yoga
for your "amah" or nurse, as my daughters did?
Once upon a time, there used to be a wonderful support-system in place
that allowed new mothers to sleep and sleep and sleep after their
tremendous labour, while the extended family took loving care of baby
and only brought it to the bedroom to nurse. Nowadays in North America,
there is no longer an experienced midwife or doula in the house to
advise the rather ill-prepared new mother on the possibility of post-natal
depression, sore nipples, and endless exhaustion. Our poor ‘civilized’
mothers get shunted out of hospital in one day, grandma may only be
able to help for one week, and hubby often has to return to work in
two. After that, our new Mom is left all alone and feeling overwhelmed
by her little big responsibility, her fatigue, and her fear of failure
to measure up.
Can Yoga help? It can and indeed has done so for some fifty centuries.
Like so many things that seem difficult in life — learning how
to cook, becoming computer-literate, or doing the Tango with braggadocio
— it is mainly a matter of ‘attitude". What Yoga
can provide for mothers is an atmosphere of relaxation in the midst
of turbulence. Yoga will always be the calm centre in the eye of the
storm. It can help new mothers to achieve the confidence and faith
to become a great parent, because guidance will come from on high
(a.k.a. spirit) through the excellent medium of her intuition. Meditation
and breath-control will help new parents to realize, that although
one cannot control much more than 10% of what will happen, one can
control 90% of how one reacts to it.
The older I get, the more I realize that my children are also my most
valued teachers. From the very beginning, that adorable little helpless
‘blob’ is, however, immediately able to instruct us on
how to S-T-R-E-T-C-H. Skinny little limbs flatten out from their cramped
lotus-position in the womb, as baby stretches mightily and vocalizes
with delighted grunts. How wise it would be of Mommy to follow such
a natural and knowing example! Shakespeare, in speaking of the longest
sleep of all, might better have asked, "to sleep or not to sleep",
as far as our modern mothers are concerned. For, they need to give
themselves the permission to rest, rather than to wash floors; to
do Yoga, rather than to cook for the multitudes; and, to grunt and
groan while intensely stretching, rather than to rush about doing
errands with baby in car-seat. It should be incumbent upon all overworked
mothers to take care of, appreciate, and accept the Self — the
better to learn from that little munchkin, who has no doubt popped
into their lives for that very reason.
Even as adults, my children are still teaching me through their shining
example, and through the affectionate insight they have into their
parents’ psyche. People born under a certain date of the sun-sign
Scorpio for instance, as I am, are supposed to, "follow a life-path
of working through issues of perfectionism, process and responsibility;
taking life one step at a time; manifesting their vision in practical
ways; and accepting the inherent perfection of their life" ("The
Life You Were Born to Live", by Dan Millman). Every one of my
"girls" has taught me valuable lessons about these life-tasks
through their fortitude in the face of great challenges. One of them
has to bring up our new grandchild in a now disease-ridden and turbulent
African country; another, patiently addresses the needs of our lovable
autistic grandson who rarely sleeps; and, our twelve-year-old granddaughter
astounds and inspires me with her loving devotion to her little brother."
As mothers of such big and small ‘teachers’, we can do
at least two proactive things for our mental and physical health,
and, by implication, theirs. We can incorporate a kind of intermittent
Yoga-All-Day-Long practice into our lives, the better to relax while
still remaining active (see next column); and, we can learn from the
enlightened educator who said, "when our children are small,
parents must act as their managers; after our children become teenagers,
parents are wise to act as their consultants". I should like
to add here, "thank you, my dear grown-up girls, for being my
gurus".
In Sanskrit, ‘kareen’ means "please do it".
So please, little mothers, follow your intuition and indulge in a
bit of daily Yoga. Your ‘babies’ will surely thank you
– in time.
For more about "Kareen’s Yoga" and her books / videos,
see her website kareenzebroff.com
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