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UNIVERSE WITHIN by Gwen Randall-Young
As a psychologist and author, I frequently find myself reflecting upon the human condition. While doing this recently, I became aware of an ironic Catch 22 which seems ubiquitous in our species. Each individual is unique; millions have gone before us, and millions will follow, yet there never has been, neither will there be another just like us.
At the same time, it seems that most of the tension existing between individuals or groups is based on the belief that others should be more like us. What a formula for monumental frustration. Think of it. What an excellent simulation, an exercise one might find at a corporate retreat on learning to work together and create harmony. Build a planet and populate it with a human species in which no two will ever be the same. Then build in a mindset that has high tolerance for similarities, and a low tolerance for differences.
Imagine a lab experiment where you put dogs, cats and mice all in the same cage. Of course there will be chaos and bloodshed, and the biggest and strongest will be in control. So here we are in the Earthly cage, so often judging others because they are not like us, struggling for power and control, not doing all that much better than the animals in the experiment.
We see this between parents and children, where the parents want the children to be more like them, and vice versa. In adult family relationships, there is often a black sheep who is unaccepted. It happens in the workplace when an individual is “different,” even though job performance is satisfactory and of course it happens in communities and on the world stage. There is all the nipping, barking and clawing that we would find if we put different animal species together. However, allegedly, we have higher intelligence than dogs and cats. Surely we can find another way. Perhaps a different perspective is all we need.
How different it would be if we had a reverence for all others. Every single person contains a spark of the divine. Anything less that we see in them is the sum total of our judgment or interpretation of them. It is those judgments and interpretations that create separation: without them we would be aware of our oneness and feel connected to others. We would work together easily and naturally to solve problems.
It is important to realize that how we define others is nothing more than our definition. How we label an individual or group is a statement about us, not about them. Unfortunately, when we find consensus, others who label the same way we have, we mistakenly assume the label is truth or fact. This can have disastrous consequences, though consensus may blind us to the fact that our interpretation is what is causing the problem. It takes a big step back to really see this, and most often people are so enmeshed in their own interpretation that they cannot see it. Locked into a “one-interpretation” mode, it is natural to assume, of course, that it is right.
We need to let go of the assumption that our way is right, or better. We are each only one of millions and millions. How could it be that the creator imbued one of us, or one culture, one country, one religion, one tribe, with all of the right answers, and everyone else with the wrong ones? No matter how “right” we think we are, the impossibility of it being that simple in such a complex world, should give us pause.
It is really not about being right, is it? The human experiment is about how well we can get along and understand each other. As long as “we are right and they are wrong,” we are still in the cage. When we get that, and when we shift our perception to one of inclusion, only then will we have taken our next evolutionary step.
Gwen Randall-Young is an author and chartered psychologist in private practice. Her new book, Growing Into Soul: The Next Step in Human Evolution is available through her website, www.gwen.ca or gwendall@shaw.ca
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