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TWENTYSOMETHING by Ishi Dinim
This morning my friend woke me up from a groggy sleep. He was at my front door and I buzzed him up. I quickly threw on some sweatpants, put some chai on the stove and we sat down at the table and talked about life. We discussed earthbag houses, addictions, work, relationships, and then he gestured through the window, “You know all this is crap. What we need to do is make a sh_tload of money, then go travel to some really poor country and have them teach us something about life.”
There’s an Einstein saying that goes, “Today’s problems cannot be solved by thinking the way we thought when we created them.” I find my mind racing, wonderful and horrible ideas following each other: a new amaryllis growing in the sun, body parts scattered throughout a busy marketplace, children fervently chasing a soccer ball, opulent petroleum lords operating with impunity, back and forth like this all the time. I don’t know if focusing in on one realm of thought for too long is…
It seems that over time I’ve been building invisible barriers. Criticizing myself for not doing “enough,” not doing things “right,” being scared to pursue my dreams, discounting my ideas as unimportant; the floor plans for a self-made creative prison. There is so much guilt around wasting time, living a privileged western life, saying too much or not enough, or even thinking the wrong thing. As it turns out I have a very personal relationship with the warden, and who better to deliberate with about an early release? Then I had a revelation, an idea, that maybe, just maybe, not producing anything for a time would be valuable. Going dormant for a period is a natural process, I don’t always have to be go go go.
On another note, no less important than freeing oneself from bondage, is our upcoming provincial election. I see this upcoming election as the most important moment in recent Canadian political history. We have the chance not only to vote in a new government but we can actually change the democratic process. We have an opportunity to vote on a binding referendum that would usher in a single transferable voting system. The referendum needs 60 percent of voters to be in favor and requires 48 of 79 ridings to approve the change as well. During this election getting out and voting is more important than it ever has been and maybe ever will be again. We could set the trend by instituting truly democratic political change in North America.
When I’m done dwelling on grief, loss, and sickness I want to explode with love. Not a cliché sex thing. I want my every act to further a creative end, a supportive sustaining process. I’ll just chill out in my sweatpants and ponder a little while longer.
Web links:
www.citizensassembly.bc.ca/public/extra/stv_resources.xml
www.getyourvoteon.ca
www.elections.bc.ca
www.ran.org/info_center/factsheets/03b.html
Quotes:
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us, “Universe,” a part
limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion
of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting
us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to
us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our
circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of
nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the
striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a
foundation for inner security.
- Albert Einstein
Yesterday we bowed for kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.
- Kahlil Gibran
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie
Ishi graduated from Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design in 2001, with a BFA major in photography. He makes films, collects cacti, and ponders many things. Currently he is trying to figure out what to do with the rest his life. contact ishi@yahoo.ca waiting to hear echoes back…Ishi graduated from Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design in 2001, with a BFA major in photography. He makes films, collects cacti, and ponders many things. Currently he is trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his life. contactishi@yahoo.ca waiting to hear echoes back…
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