TWENTYSOMETHING by Ishi Dinim

I woke yesterday from a disturbing dream where a woman with a French accent was taking me on a tour. Maybe we were in Haiti; I think she was working for Doctors Without Borders. All around us was horror – decapitated people, smoldering huts, crying children. I was in a nightmare.
When I opened my eyes, I was very groggy and disoriented. The vividness of the images I had just seen flashed back to my mind for a moment, and then a great sense of relief washed over me as I realized it had just been a dream. I lay there for a bit trying to appreciate my surroundings: the darkness, the warmth, the rain, those voices. I wasn’t losing my mind; there were voices. The radio alarm clock had gone off only the volume was very, very low. Imagine one of those compression shots from a film where the foreground rushes into focus and the background flies away. All my attention began to concentrate in on the voices of the two women. They were serious in tone and choking on some of their words.
One woman was interviewing the other – a Canadian police sergeant, back from Darfur and telling the stories of people she had met there. The things she recounted were painful and very real. My relieved feeling evaporated rapidly. What is happening right now on our planet is far worse than any film or dream. It is real.
We all have our own problems to deal with. Mine seems to be depression these days. In my own life, I’ve been experiencing considerable highs and lows recently. Because of my own drama and the dramas I view in the media, I’ve been trying to understand what makes someone cause harm to another.
I’m no psychologist, but I imagine that some people who are hurting can’t talk about it with anyone. They end up isolated and probably still want to share how they’re feeling with someone. So they make others feel how they themselves are feeling by repeating their hurt on another – a weird forced empathy, or something.
Anyhow, if anyone is struggling with the world and its ups and downs, there might be a solution. Try doing something kind for yourself and then go out and do something kind for somebody else. Let’s see how it works.
PS: Angela Conway, if you can see this or hear it, thank you for reaching out and sharing your mind. It means a great deal to me to know that there are good people out there.
Quotes:
You don’t see things as they are. You see things as you are. – Talmud
The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love. – William Sloane Coffin
Films:
You the Living
The Darjeeling Limited
Eastern Promises
Planet Earth

Ishi graduated from Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design in 2001, with a BFA major in photography. He makes films, collects cacti and ponders many things. Currently, he is trying to figure out what to do with the rest his life. contactishi@yahoo.ca