UNIVERSE WITHIN by Gwen Randall-Young

Mankind must evolve, for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Humans, like all animals, have a built-in potential for aggression. It helped our ancestors defend themselves against life-threatening attacks as well as to protect their young and food supplies. It was a primitive and necessary quality to ensure their survival when it was still a struggle to stay alive.
However, the human situation, particularly in the Western world, has evolved such that we do not face that physical struggle every day, albeit it may sometimes feel that way emotionally. Yet the aggressive impulse remains, much to our detriment. Whether politically or personally, aggression only begets more aggression. Left to escalate, it can result in death: death of a person, a culture, a relationship and, most assuredly, of peace.

Aggression does not simply refer to acts of war or physical violence. Politically, it can refer to the violation, by force, of the rights of another nation or state. It can also refer to any personal offensive action, attack or encroachment. In psychiatric terms, it refers to overt or suppressed hostility, which may either be innate or the result of a feeling of sustained frustration. This hostility could then be directed towards the self or onto others.
Other than in truly life-threatening situations, interpersonal aggression is the result of the ego’s machinations.

For instance, the ego does not get its way and doesn’t feel in control or has taken offence, therefore deciding it must strike out. Perhaps feeling jealous, inferior or intimidated, the ego may launch completely unprovoked attacks to try and make it feel better. But because this never works, the ego simply continues to attack.

Someone who vents anger and aggression or otherwise attacks others virtually always blames the outside world: the child frustrated the parent so it is the child’s fault the parent went off the deep end, perhaps even physically or emotionally abusing the child. The employee made a mistake so it is the employee’s fault the boss had to yell and humiliate the individual in front of other staff. A driver cuts off another motorist so it is the driver’s fault the second motorist had an episode of road rage.

This process of shifting blame and denying responsibility for ones own unconscious and inappropriate reactions is typical of children. For a four-year-old, throwing a tantrum is a reasonable response to mother’s refusal to give a treat before lunch. Likewise, Dad’s refusal to extend the curfew is the cause of the teen’s door slamming and under-the-breath muttering or outright screaming.

Ego is certainly the less evolved, more reactive aspect of our being and truly does operate from a childlike perspective. It is impulsive and reactive. It does not reflect and consider the best course of action or think about what would serve the highest good of all concerned. That is within the realm of the higher self.

While we all possess the ability to access our higher selves – that place of wisdom and maturity – many people have either not learned how to realize that consciousness or they have chosen not to. Sometimes people do better in certain areas; some may have difficulty with family or intimate relationships, for it is much easier for ego’s reactivity to be triggered here.

We used to shake our heads over the conflict in Northern Ireland. We still ponder the ongoing difficulties in the Middle East and we wonder if the people there will ever choose peace. Yet, in our own lives, we may not have learned to deal with differences from a place of wisdom and compassion, searching for solutions rather than needing to prove we are right.

Both as individuals and as a species, it seems we still have some growing to do.

Gwen Randall-Young is a psychotherapist in private practice and author of Growing Into Soul: The Next Step in Human Evolution. For articles and information about her books and “Deep Powerful Change” personal growth/hypnosis CDs, visit www.gwen.ca